You are probably wondering what the hell The Sharmin All Stars are. The Sharmin All Stars are athlethes that are not worth the toliet paper you wipe your ass with. The criteria is for an athlete to be well known, be a relatively high draft pick, played well and feel apart, and making a decent amount of money but under achieving at such a level that you honestly sit there and think he is not worth the toilet paper in your bathroom. So here is the list.(This is just NBA, other sports soon to come)Jermaine O'Neal: O'neal was making this list even prior to his playoff appearance, but after watching him dick around through five games of the playoffs he elevated himself to a whole new level. (I am think of coming up with a new list just titled the Jermaine O'Neal All Stars: that would be athletes who underachieve in contract years, check back in a few weeks for that.) Back to O'Neal this was a guy who averaged 20.6 ppg from 2001-2007, he use to be an all-star he use to be the go to guy, now though i wouldn't pick this guy in a game of pick up basketball with a group of my friends. Contracts years usually mean players go balls to the wall in order to get that fat new paycheck from whatever franchise is dumb enough to give them it. O'Neal though basically said fuck the next contract by averaging 13 points and 7 rebounds. Can anyone guess how much money O'neal made this season? Take a guess? If you guessed $23 million then your right. I can think of so many other ways that the Heat could have spent that money, like buying Alonzo Morning some new kidney's. O'neal took sucking to a whole new level this postseason congrats.
Gilbert Arenas: On the list for one reason, the guy has a $180 million contract and makes T.I. look like he doesn't have a gun problem. Also i think he may have a gambling problem though no one talks about it because i still cant figure out how he consistently lost in the first round. He had to be betting on those games. He can play know question but you just never know about this guy, what if his stat line looks like 6 points, 2 assists on 3-15 shooting. There is a 50% chance that he go goes all Virginia Tech on Josh Howard in the locker room.
Elton Brand: Elton Brand should be sending a thank you letter to Jermaine O'neal because if not for O'Neal, Brand would take the cake on this list. Watching Sixers games this season i often wondered if that was Elton John in a sixers jersey instead of Brand. In two seasons with the sixers Brand is averaging 13.4 ppg after signing an $80 million contract. Him making 80 mill is more of a crime than if Big Ben and Donte Stallworth were to team up for a night of raping every 18 year old in a city and then getting drunk and running them over.
Earl Clark: This guy also needs his own all-star team(athletes that make you question if they have a pulse) I think there is more oxygen collectively pumping through Sean Taylor, Chris Henry, Michael Jackson, and all of Donte Stallworth's victim compared to Earl Clark. I understand that Clark is only a rookie but come on in 51 games this guy only averaged 2.7 ppg. Christ i think Tim Legler could put those numbers up now. Just watching Suns games this year you would look down the bench and see Earl Clark sitting there like he was on time out or something. Either way he sucks, the Suns system fits Clark perfectly yet he sat on the bench and collected splinters on his ass.
Kirk Hinrich: Congrats Kirk you have been just awarded the Reason why people think Whites suck at basketball award. You my man couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat. I personally think the Bulls should just sign J-Mac (the kid who is handicap who dropped about 20 points in a high school game, its been on ESPN about a 1 million times.) No joke he cant shoot this past season he shot 37% from 3 and he is considered the teams best shoot. Anyone surprised that they got bounced in 5 in the playoffs. If im Derrick Rose im contacting Donte Stallworth, tell him i will give him a 30 rack and the keys to the Benz and then tell him to go out and find John Paxton, Vinny Del Negro, and Hinrich and just go to work.
Mike Beasley: I had to do it. I know he is only two years into his career but this guy is a bust. He's more known for the fact that he spends equal time with Dr. Drew than with Dwayne Wade. Yes he averaged 14 points and 6 boards which is not bad for a second year player but you know if you asked D Wade after a night of Dennis Rodman like drinking he would tell you "man that kid sucks why the fuck did we draft him." It doesn't help Beasley that he was taken No. 2 in the draft and just two years later would be considered the 13th best pick. Would i really be the only person in America surprised to read this summer on the bottom line that Michael Beasley has died due to a drug overdose.
Sean May: I bet you that most people don't even know who Sean May even is. My point exactly, I know Sean May because I love UNC and remember when he dominated college basketball and was a lottery pick. He was the MOP of the tournament his junior year, now your more likely to find May at your local Wendy's than on the hardwood. This past season he averaged 3.3 ppg, May certainty qualifies to be on Earl Clark's All Star's list because I don't believe May has a pulse and if he does could luck finding it beneath all the fat.
Greg Oden: This poor guy just can't catch a break. I mean it's not a good thing that he's more successful sexting than he is as a professional basketball player. On a side note can anyone actually picture Greg Oden sexting? First off what female in their right mind says to themselves man i wanna see Greg Oden naked? And second off do you think he has to send the pic in two messages because he is so large? Like does the recipient get just an upper body shot and then have to wait a few minuets for the rest? Athletes who should never sext, Greg Oden certainty is right up there.
Rasheed Wallace: Sheed should be on the list that rates most intelligent athletes in sports because he would rank right up there. He convinced Danny Ainge(who by the way is highly overrated as a GM) to sign him to a 3 year contract despite showing he no longer gave a fuck about basketball and that all he was going to do was run from one three point line to the other. Any Celtic fan will agree with me that Sheed was the worst Celtic in a long time, you know its bad when fans are asking for Sheldon Williams. Sheed you to be great, he use to have a swag about him that came off like hey if you fuck with me, ill kill you. Sheed is such an after thought that he doesnt even make headlines when he gets fined now. Did anyone even know he got fine during the first round for calling out the officiating and D-Wade? Nope that's what i thought.
Posted by Marcus-Tracy McGrady- Probably the most talented player on this list. His seasons with Orlando were phenomenal 2 time scoring champion All-NBA first team and all that cool shit. Well in his five full seasons with Houston McGrady played 78,47,71,66 and 35 games in that order. I don't know if I've seen any superstars as fragile as McGrady. It's like the man is made of fuckin' porcelain. He had a couple productive years, but definitely not the kind of player you can build a franchise on like Houston tried to do with him and Yao. After 2009 when he played 35 games, the team advanced out of the first round and took L.A. to 7 games without him needless to say he was about as welcomed as AIDS in Houston and found a home in New York. Now that he's averaging a pedestrian 8.2ppg for for the Knicks, guess how much this 30 year-old, injury-prone, wash-up, who has never advanced out of the first round get's paid? $23 million. Are you fucking kidding me?? Not that it matters NY is just using him for his contract so they can drop his ass and sign LeBron.
