Elite Eight

Jalen Rose said bye bye Duke

What a great sweet sixteen. We saw Arizona destroy Uncle Tom's Cabin in the second half,  UNC throttle Juco U and Butler beat Wisconsin in the battle of the first one to twenty points. Let's also not forget that Kansas did everyone a favor and beat Richmond, VCU defeated FSU in NIT championship and Brandon
I'm as dark as Knight once again decided to take the first 38 minuets of a game off before hitting the game winner.

Now onto the elite eight. Today gives us Butler versus Florida. Butler lost in the National Championship last season and is once again trying to prove that you can win with white players and a coach who looks like he has down syndrome at times. Their opponent is Florida, a team that did the world a favor and beat the Mormons. Mitt Romney in my face is one thing, Jimmer fucking Fredette is another. I went to bed last night praying that deadspin would have a report that Jimmer went to a Starbucks on Bourbon St while at the same time sexting Mark Sanchez 17 year old girlfriend. I can dream can't I? That game was very telling, it proved that if Adam Morrison and Allen Iverson had a threesome with a Mormon then Jimmer would be the end result. Jimmer went 11-29, an Iverson like stat total and plays defense like Morison.

Like a good neighbor vcu is there

Who is VCU and why are they still playing? Wasn't this the team that didn't belong? Well what the french toast their in the elite eight. The last team to boast 12 guys who will be doing something other than playing basketball in the next five years. I repeat, I hate upsets. I hate them more than Terri Schiavo hated a feeding tube. If Kansas loses to this State Farm pipeline school I'm going to go nuts. My bracket already looks like Libya, if Kansas loses it will then look like Chris Henry...after he fell out of the truck. Kansas is by far more talented, the only way I could compare the mismatch is if LeBron James entered the Special Olympics. What does scare me is Bill Self, sometimes he looks like the best coach in college basketball, other times he doesn't look qualified to manage a Wendy's.

Staying in this game something else really pisses me off, Josh Selby. Selby was the number one point guard in this recruiting class and he has been anything but number one. The red flag should have been the fact that he sat out Kansas' first nine games because he took $4,000. Selby hasn't scored in double figures since February 1st. That's terrible and what is worse is that he is going to be a first round pick because of his talent. Talent, what talent? He averages eight points per game and the team looks horrible when he is on the floor. This guy is the Wesley Snipes of basketball. Everyone hated Snipes on set of all those terrible Blade movies and you can see that everyone hates Selby when he is on the court. It just hit me this draft class is terrible. Between the $4,000 man and Mr. Mormon this class is doomed.

Arizona and Uconn could be the best game that 48 states could give two shits about. You have two guys that will be top ten picks in Kemba and Derrick Williams squaring off. I am still trying to wrap my head around how Arizona completely and utterly destroyed Duke. Maybe Kyrie Irving coming back was a bad thing. Nolan Smith looked like a lost puppy out there when Irving was playing. Jalen Rose must be happy though because Uncle Tom lost to team immigration. But back to Uconn and Arizona, Uconn should win this game but then again Lawrence Taylor should card hookers, but hey the world isn't perfect. The best player is Williams but the best team is Uconn. Jeremy Lamb is a torpedo that has come straight out of left field. Without him Uconn doesn't make it to the sweet 16. There is no way Arizona guards can play as well as they did against Duke. The Kemba show rolls on.

Remember when Ohio State was clutch in basketball? Yea me neither. A bunch of toddlers coached by a bigger cheater than Justin Timberlake beat a bunch of veterans. Proving my point that talent triumphs experience. Kentucky now faces UNC in a true battle of the big boys. Kentucky and Carolina are the two most stories programs in basketball history and now they meet up in the Chucky Cheese Bowl. Carolina is led by a bunch of tweens while Kentucky is led by a bunch of toddlers. First one who can count to five wins this game. On the bright side this game does feature eight future NBA players on the downside none of them can probably get into Dave & Busters by themselves. Both teams are talented so thats a wash. Neither team is deep so again we have a wash, so we arrive at coaching. Roy Williams is an overrated coach and that is coming from me, one of the biggest UNC fans you will find. John Calipari is a very good coach and if he wins this game you can expect that in five years it will no longer be in the record books. UNC has a bit more size so I like that. It really comes down to which group of kids gets rattled first. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if either team played in the championship.